Baddie’s Rodent Day
After spending our day ironing, cleaning windows, putting up pictures and cooking, Mr. Baddie and I thought we’d go for a little walk around our neighbourhood. The air was fragrant and full of promise this warm evening – and the old street lamps, beautiful art nouveau buildings, colourful restaurant facades and tiny boutiques were basked in a rusty light.
“Have you seen the mouse?” Mr. Baddie’s voice wakes me out of my reverie.
“No! Where?” I ask excitedly. The thing is, I love glimpsing small furry creatures. As long as I am far, far away from them. Because, as
Baddie everyone knows, mice love running up girls’ legs. Even (or especially if) you are wearing trousers. Then they take delight in crawling inside the trouser leg. I don’t know what they do once up there. I think they mostly enjoy the trip.
Anyway, Mr. Baddie releases my arm and goes near this building which, in broad architectural terms, had a slightly protruding bit with a little space underneath.”Stay on the other side” he instructs.
I position myself at a safe distance, and crouch intently. That, and the black poncho I am wearing, make me look like a baby-bat preparing to begin her first flight lesson, but I don’t care. I’ll see a mouse! Mr. Baddie, in the meantime, begins stomping and kicking the building a bit, hoping to frighten the mouse into running towards me. I peer, and try my best to telepathically convince it to come out. He stomps. I stare. Nothing.
“Oh well, he might have a hole in there” I sigh. And then I slowly look up. And see that the very select boutique whose facade we were kicking and crouching in front of is, remarkably, and very unlike all the other shops at 9 o’clock on this Sunday evening, not empty. Oh no, there’s some sort of party there. And guess what all the well-dressed people in there are looking at, pointing and smirking. Every single one of them. You have one try.
PS I wonder what they thought we were doing…
PPS And then we went home, and watched “My friend Harvey“, a 50s classic in which James Stewart’s character Elwood P. Dowd’s pal is an invisible six-foot tall white rabbit. Scout’s honour.