Baddie cruises cafeterias – children and salad dressings

by baddieworld

Well, it’s decided. Tuesdays are mean days – when Baddie is going to be mean AND kidnap children. At the request of my two black sisters, one obviously so, one less noticeably coloured, I shall endeavour to stuff any conveniently located small cherubs in my huge white leather bag. Especially if said cherubs are being dragged by their unsuspecting parents into the midst of that crazy mob which provides lunch custom at my uni cafeteria. I tell you, there was no space to drop a pin, never mind insert a cute  child. Some folks just have it coming to them…

Alas, though, being laden with a heavy tray filled with food trying to navigate a place choc-full with people does not a good and agile kidnapper make. Actually, make that “does not any kind of kidnapper make”. Instead, after getting at the front of the longest. queue. ever. Baddie goest to the “sauce” bar of the cafeteria, hoping for some nice salad dressing. What greets her is a 6-trayed contraption with pink, peachy and other fruity sauces. “Ok, obviously for muesli and fruit salad… but where are the dressings?” After some consternation, Baddie spots something green and oniony in one of the 6 trays. “Could this be it? surely not… but there is no other sauce-dressing in sight! maybe this sauce got lost… but what if it’s NOT dressing? what if I DIE?!?” Oh, poor, tormented minutes of glancing hopefully at the dressing, and then doubtfully at one’s plate… “But wait! what’s that? A nice well dressed gentleman approaching and… yes, yes, getting the dressing… and… YES, drizzling it all over his salad bowl!” Baddie watches transfixed, opens her mouth, closes it like a fish. The stranger looks directly her, smiles and mutters: “No, I also have no idea what this tastes like.”